Three mice are sitting at a bar after the funeral of an Illinois mouse,
who was killed by an 80-year-old lady with a broom. They are trying to
impress each other about how much tougher they each are.

The Wisconsin mouse throws down a shot of bourbon, slams the empty
glass onto the bar, turns to the Iowa mouse and says, "When I see a
mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot.  When
the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty
times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."

The Iowa mouse orders up two shots of tequila, drinks them down one
after the other, slams both glasses onto the bar, turns to the Wisconsin
mouse and replies, "Oh yeah? When I see rat poison, I collect as much as I
can, take it home, grind it up to a powder, and add it to my coffee
each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day"

They both turn to the Texas mouse.

The Texas mouse finishes the beer he has in front of him, lets out a
long sigh and says to the two, "I don't have time for this bullshit".

Gotta go home and have sex with the cat."