Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain
and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate
ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to
his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate
quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain
put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party.

Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates
were repelled.

Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate
vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear,
but the captain, calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!"
And once again the battle was on. However, the Captain and
his crew repelled both boarding parties, though this time more
casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night
recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the
Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt
before the battle?"

The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can
give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not
show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid."

The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man. As
dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were
pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their
way.

The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader,
for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed,
"Bring me my brown pants!"