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Seen on a bumper sticker:
"IF CLINTON IS THE ANSWER, THEN IT MUST BE A STUPID
QUESTION."
Seen on another bumper sticker:
"CLINTON HAPPENS"
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Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the
season. The
umpire walks up to the VIP section and yells something,
and suddenly
Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over
the side and
onto the field. The stunned umpire shouted,
"No, Mr. President! I said, `Throw the first PITCH!'"
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If a couple in Arkansas get married, move to
Washington, then move
back to Arkansas, are they still brother and sister?
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Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells
them =
tonight's special is chicken almandine and fresh fish.
"The chicken sounds good; I'll have that," Hillary
says. The waiter
nods. "And the vegetable?" he asks.
"Oh, He'll have the fish," Hillary replies.
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Q. Bill and Hillary are on a sinking boat. Who gets
saved?
A. The nation.
Q. What do you get when you cross a crooked politician
with a
dishonest lawyer?
A. Chelsea!
Q: What does Bill say to Hillary after having Sex?
A: "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."
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Clinton is looking out of the window and he notices
that someone has
urinated the message, "BILL SUCKS!" on the White House
Lawn.
Furious, he orders the FBI to take urine and
handwriting samples from
every member of the White House staff and find the
culprit immediately.
A week later, the FBI director calls.
"Mr. President, I have good news and bad news," he
says. "The good
news is that the urine belongs to Bob Dole." "And the
bad news?"
Clinton demands. After a slight pause, the
director replies,
"Sir, eh, eh, the handwriting belongs to your wife!"
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Clinton returns from a vacation in Arkansas and walks
down the steps
of Air Force One with two pigs under his arms. At the
bottom of the
steps, the honor guardsman steps forward and remarks,
"Nice pigs, Mr. President"
Clinton replies, "I'll have to let you know that these
are genuine
Arkansas Razor Back Hogs.
I got this one for Chelsea and this one for Hillary.
So, now what
do you think?"
The honor guardsman answers:
"Nice trade, Sir."
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One day, Clinton called the White House interior
decorator into the
Oval Office. He was very furious and said,
"Chelsea is very upset because she thinks she has the
ugliest room
in the entire White House; I want something done
about it
immediately!"
"Yes Sir, Mr. President," the interior decorator replies.
"I'll take
those mirrors out right away!"
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Clinton, Gore, and Packwood are traveling in a car
together in
the Midwest. A tornado comes along and whirls
them up into the air
and tosses them thousands of yards away. When they come to and
extract
themselves from the vehicle, they realize they're in
the Land of Oz.
They decide to go see the Wizard of Oz. Clinton
says, "I'm going to
ask the Wizard for a brain." Gore says, "I'm going to
ask the
Wizard for a heart." Packwood says, "Where's
Dorothy?"
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