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TODD COMPLAINED TO HIS FRIEND "MY ELBOW REALLY HURTS. I GUESS I SHOULD
SEE A DOCTOR." HIS FRIEND OFFERED, "DON'T DO THAT!!! THERE'S A
COMPUTER AT
THE DRUG STORE THAT CAN DIAGNOSE ANYTHING QUICKER AND CHEAPER THAN A
DOCTOR. SIMPLY PUT IN A SAMPLE OF YOUR URINE AND THE COMPUTER WILL
DIAGNOSE YOUR PROBLEM AND TELL YOU WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. IT ONLY COST
$10.00. " TODD FIGURED HE HAD NOTHING TO LOSE, SO HE FILLED A JAR
WITH A URINE SAMPLE AND DEPOSITED $10.00. THE COMPUTER STARTED MAKING SOME
NOISES AND VARIOUS LIGHTS STARTED FLASHING. AFTER A BRIEF PAUSE, OUT
POPPED
A SMALL SLIP OF PAPER ON WHICH WAS PRINTED:
YOU HAVE TENNIS ELBOW. SOAK YOUR ARM IN WARM WATER. AVOID HEAVY
LABOR.
IT WILL BE BETTER IN TWO WEEKS. LATER THAT EVENING, WHILE THINKING HOW
AMAZING THIS NEW TECHNOLOGY WAS AND HOW IT WOULD CHANGE MEDICAL SCIENCE
FOREVER, HE BEGAN TO WONDER IF THIS MACHINE COULD BE FOOLED. HE DECIDED TO
GIVE IT A TRY. HE MIXED TOGETHER SOME TAP WATER, A STOOL SAMPLE FROM HIS DOG
AND A URINE SAMPLE FROM HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTER. TO TOP IT OFF, HE
MASTURBATED INTO THE CONCOCTION. HE WENT BACK TO THE DRUG STORE, LOCATED
THE MACHINE , POURED IN THE SAMPLE AND DEPOSITED $10.00. THE MACHINE AGAIN
MADE THE USUAL NOISE AND PRINTED OUT THE FOLLOWING:
YOUR TAP WATER IS TOO HARD, GET A WATER SOFTENER. YOUR DOG HAS WORMS, GIVE
HIM VITAMINS. YOUR DAUGHTER'S ON DRUGS, PUT HER IN REHAB. YOUR WIFE'S
PREGNANT, IT AIN'T YOURS SO GET A LAWYER. AND IF YOU DON'T STOP JERKING
OFF, YOUR ELBOW WILL NEVER GET BETTER.
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