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Comprehending Engineers, -Take One
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A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one
morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed,
"What's
with these guys?
We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor
chimed in,
"I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The
pastor
said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a
word with him."
"Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us?
They're
rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of
blind
firefighters. They lost their sight saving our
clubhouse from a
fire last year, so we always let them play for free
anytime."
The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said,
"That's so
sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them
tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact
my
ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he
can do for
them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at
night?"
Comprehending Engineers-Take Two
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There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for
fixing all
things mechanical. After serving his company loyally
for over 30
years, he happily retired. Several years later the
company
contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem
they were
having with one of their multimillion dollar machines.
They had tried everything and everyone else to get the
machine
fixed, but to no avail. In desperation, they called on
the retired
engineer who had solved so many of their problems in
the past.
The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a
day
studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he
marked a
small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the
machine and
proudly stated, "This is where your problem is".
The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly
again. The
company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer
for his service.
They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
The engineer
responded briefly:
One chalk mark $1
Knowing where to put it $49,999
It was paid in full and the engineer
retired again in peace.
Comprehending Engineers-Take Three
**********************************
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and
Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers
build targets.
Comprehending Engineers-Take Four
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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it
work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does
it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much
will it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you
want fries
with that?"
Comprehending Engineers-Take Five
*********************************
Three engineering students were gathered together
discussing the
possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was
a
mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The
nervous
systems has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who
else would
run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational
area?"
Comprehending Engineers-Take Six
*********************************
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing
whether it
was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife,
building a solid
foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress,
because of the
passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer:
"Yeah. If you
have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you
are spending
time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab
and get some
work done."
Comprehending Engineers-Take Seven
*********************************
An engineering student was walking across campus when
another
engineer rides up on a shiny new motorcycle.
"Where did you get such a great bike?" asked the first.
The second engineer replied "Well, I was walking along
yesterday
minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up
on this bike.
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her
clothes and said
'Take what you want.'"
The second engineer nodded approvingly "Good choice;
the clothes
probably wouldn't have fit."
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