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One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at her church.
"Reverend," she said, "I have a problem-my husband keeps falling asleep
during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hat pin with you. I'll
be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at
specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg with
the pin."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the
preacher put his plan to work. "...And who made the ultimate sacrifice
for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. "Jesus!" cried Mr. Jones as
his wife jabbed him in the leg with the hat pin. "Yes, you are right,
Mr. Jones," said the minister.
Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is
your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" cried out Mr. Jones as he was stuck again with the hat pin.
"Right again, Mr. Jones," said the minister, smiling and continuing his
sermon.
Before long, Mr. Jones dozed off again. However, this time the
minister didn't notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made
a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to wake her husband
again. She was just sticking her husband with the hat pin again when the
minister asked, "...And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his
99th son?"
Mr. Jones shrieked, "You stick that god damned thing in me one more time
and I'll break it off and shove it up your ass!!!!"
The sermon was over.
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