1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. That uniform makes your butt look really big.
3. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
4. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?
5. I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing
my ticket.
6. Hey, you must've been doing about 125 mph to keep up
with me!
7. Good job! I thought you had to be in relatively good
physical condition to be a police officer.
8. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high
school instead.
9. Bad Cop! No Donut!
10. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
11. When you smack the crap out of me, make sure you smile
pretty for the camcorder.
12. I pay your salary!
13. Gee, thanks officer! That's terrific. The last officer
only gave me a warning too!
14. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of
us does.
15. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is
no other
car around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
16. Sorry, I can't hear you over the radio. No I am not turning
it down. I love this song.
17. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun
fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and
the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
18. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?