Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the
 words back...or that you could crawl into a hole?

 Here are the testimonials of a few people who did....

1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly, How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband
 didn't say a word... he knew better.

2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
 I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing
for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking
gentlemen who works at the store.. He asked if he could help me.
 Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

 3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
 variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the
 boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No,
 I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh
 hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day,
my sister has never let me forget.

 4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
 release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab
 hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
 patrons I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she
 would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in
 a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will
 tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The
 silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped
what they were doing.  I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the
bank with  my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind
 me were screams of laughter.

 5. Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
 My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I
 was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick
 lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
 While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I
checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I
 realized that 3 year old Danny has not asked to go potty in a while,
> so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No."
 I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't
 have any clothes with me."   Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE
you didn't have an accident?" "No,"  he replied. I just KNEW that he must
have had an accident, because the  smell was getting worse.
 Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?"
 This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread
 his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people
 nearly choked to death On their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his
pants and sat down.   An Old couple made me feel better by thanking
me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
 
 6. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a
 very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely
think before she speaks.  What happens when you predict snow but
don't get any....a true   story... We had a female news anchor who,
the day After it was  supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to
the weatherman and  asked:
 "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
 Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they
 were laughing So hard!