WASHINGTON - In a surprise twist to the ongoing saga of the
 Clintons, the body of Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr was
 found dead in his office today. In a case that is perplexing
 investigators, it appears that he had committed suicide by the
 unusual method of taking a life-ending plunge from atop the
 Starr Report, his the report on the Clinton affairs. The police
 are unclear as to the motive, but initial hints point to a
 tape in the cassette player of Ken Starr and Monica talking
 dirty to each other.

 MOSCOW- Sad news for the Russian people, Boris Yeltsin has
 passed away from too much vodka.  Yeltsin is best remembered
 as a raving alcoholic, but some chose to remember the darker
 side of his life, his political career. According to the
 coroner s report, it appears that he died when he tripped
 over an old vodka bottle.

 SOUTH CAROLINA- Senator Strom Thurman did not die, but his
 office released equally depressing news today.  Allegedly,
 America s oldest politician has struck a deal with the \223man
 upstairs  to be granted immortality.  In other words, Strom
 will be able to haunt the Congressional chambers for all
 eternity.  When asked for a comment he said, \223the great
 thing is as long as there are politicians in politics there
 will never be term limits.  That means I can be reelected forever.

What is the difference between a Certificate of Deposit & Intercourse ?
 A CD has significant penalty for early withdrawal