Memo to all students:

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from students, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught
through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T. ). We are
trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than any other school. If you
feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the course,
please see your lecturer. You will be immediately placed at the top of the
S.H.I.T. list, and our lecturer are especially skilled at seeing that
you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Students who don't know S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS ( D.E.E.P S.H.I.T. ). Those who fail to
take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE
TRAINING ( E.A.T. S.H.I.T. ). Since our lecturers took S.H.I.T. before
they graduated, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, as they are all full
of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T. , you may be interested in a job
teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (
B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. ). For students who are intending to
pursue a career in management and consultancy, we will refer you to the
department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATIONAL ( M.O.R.E.
S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizes on how to manage M.O.R.E S.H.I.T. . If
you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING ( H.O.T. S.H.I.T. )

Thank you
BOSS IN GENERAL SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING
( B.I.G S.H.I.T. )