An actual letter sent to Miller Brewing Company and their response:
 Miller Brewing Company
 Milwaukee, Wisconsin  53201
 
 Dear Sir or Madam,
 
 I have been a drinker of Miller beer for many years (actually, ever 
since that other company donated a big chunk of change to Handgun 
Control Inc. back in the mid 80's).

 Initially, my beer of choice was Lite, but sometime in mid-1990 
while in Honduras  I switched to MGD smuggled up from Panama.  
Now, for nearly six years, I have been a faithful drinker of MGD.
 For these past years, I have come to expect certain things from 
Genuine Draft.  I expect that whenever I see that gold can of MGD, 
I am about ready to enjoy a great, smooth brew.

 But wait!  Sometime around the first of the year, my beloved MGD 
changed colors, so to speak.  That familiar gold can was no longer
gold!  Knowing that I am, by nature, somewhat resistant to change, 
I forced myself to reserve judgment on the new can design.

 Gradually, I grew to appreciate the new label.  That was until
about May of this year.  That was when I discovered (empirically) 
that I really didn't like the new design.  Further investigation 
of the cause of my distress resulted in the following observations:

 1. Your cans are made of aluminum.
 2. Aluminum is a great conductor of energy.
 3. Your beer is commonly consumed outside, and thus, the 
      container may be exposed to sunlight.
 4. Sunlight striking the can causes radiant warming of the 
      surface of the can.
 5. The resultant heat (energy) is transferred through the 
      aluminum, by conduction, to the contents of the can (the beer).
 6. Warm beer sucks.
 
This is a process that can be observed in just about any beer.
However, this process is significantly accelerated in MGD because 
you painted the damn can... black!!!

 Who was the rocket scientist that designed the new graphic for
the can and implemented the change right before summer?  Granted, 
this process may not be real evident up there in Wisconsin, but 
down here in Oklahoma where the summers are both sunny and hot, 
this effect is quite a problem.  There's no telling what the folks 
in Texas and Arizona are having to put up with.

 Knowing that you would probably not address this issue unless you
had firm evidence of a problem, I and several other subjects 
conducted extensive experimentation.

 The results of these experiments are listed below.
 The experiments were conducted over two days on the deck next 
to my pool.  The study included seven different types of beer 
(leftovers from a party the previous weekend) that were initially 
chilled to 38 (and then left exposed to sunlight for different 
lengths of time.  These beers were sampled by the test subjects 
at different intervals.

 The subjects, all normally MGD drinkers, were asked at each
sampling interval their impressions of the different beers.
 The length of time between the initial exposure to sunlight and
the point where the subject determined the sample undrinkable 
(the Suck-point) was determined.  The average ambient temperature 
for the trials was 95 degrees F.

 Beer Type                        Average Suck-point (minutes)
 -----------------------------------------------------------
    Miller Lite (white can)                 6.2
    Bud (white can)                         5.5
    Bud Lite (silver can)                   5.2
    Ice House (blue and silver can)         4.4
    Coors Lite (silver can)                 4.1
    Miller Genuine Draft (black can)        2.8
    Coors (gold can)                        0.1
 
 It was evident that the color of the can directly correlates to
the average suckpoint, except for Coors which was pretty much 
determined to suck at any point.

 It is to be hoped that you will consider re-designing your MGD
cans. All beer drinkers that are not smart enough to keep their 
beer in the shade will thank you.
 Sincerely,
 Bradley Lee
 Beer-drinker
 



 The Miller response:
 
 Dear Bradley Lee,
 Thank you for your letter and your concern about the MGD can 
color as it relates to premature warming of the contents.  Like 
you, we at Miller Beer take beer drinking very seriously.  To that 
end, we have taken your letter and subsequent experiment under 
serious consideration.

 Outlined below are our findings and solution to your problem.  
May we add that we have had similar letters from other loyal 
beer drinkers, mostly from the Southern United States.

 First, let us congratulate you on your findings.  Our 
analysis tends to agree with yours regarding Coors.  It certainly 
does suck at about any temperature.

 Now, it was our intentions when redesigning the MGD can to 
create better brand identity and brand loyalty.  Someone in marketing 
did some kind of research and determined we needed to redesign the 
can.  You will be pleased to know, we have fired that idiot and he 
is now reeking havoc at a pro-gun control beer manufacturer.

 The design staffer working in cahoots with the marketing idiot 
was also down-sized. However, once we realized this mistake, to undo 
it would have been even a bigger mistake.

 So, we took some other actions.  From our market research, we
found a difference between Northern beer drinker and Southern 
beer drinkers. Beer drinkers in the South tend to drink slower 
than beer drinkers in the North.

  We are still researching why that is.  Anyway, at Miller Beer, it
was never our intentions to have someone take more than 2.5 minutes 
to enjoy one of our beers.

  We pride ourselves in creating fine, smooth, quick drinking 
beers and leave the making of sissy, slow sipping beers to that 
Sam guy in Boston.
 However, it is good to know that you feel our Miller Lite can 
last as long as 6 minutes.  However, may we suggest in the future 
you try consuming at least two in that time frame.
 From your letter, we had our design staff work 'round the clock
to come up with a solution that would help not just MGD but all 
our fine Miller products.  We hope you have recently noticed our 
solution to your problem.  We found that the hole in the top of 
the can was not big enough for quick consumption.  So, we have 
now introduced the new "Wide Mouth" cans.  We hope this will solve 
all your problems.

 Might I also suggest that if you want to get the beer out of the 
can even faster, you can poke a hole on the side near the bottom, 
hold your finger over it, open the can, tip it to your mouth and 
then pull your finger off the hole.  This is a common way to drink 
beer at parties and impress your friends.  This technique is known 
as "shot-gunning". You should like the name.

 Again, thank you for your letter and bring to our attention that 
there might be other beer drinkers taking more that 2.5 minutes 
to drink our beers.

 Let me assure you that I am have our advertising department 
work on campaign to solve this problem, too.
 Sincerely,
 
 Tom B. Miller
 Public Relations
 Miller Brewing Co.